What are YOU Proud of?

Pride week is quickly approaching, and I've been doing some thinking about what Pride means and why we celebrate it.  If you're in or adjacent to the LGBT community, your calendar is probably packed to the brim with events this coming week. Every organization is hosting something, every venue is hosting something, many individuals are hosting something.

But Pride is not just an excuse to party indiscriminately. It is not about promiscuity.  It is definitely not about going on crash diets and hitting the gym extra hard in an attempt to look good for the weekend.  We should celebrate to the fullest extent, but we should do so meaningfully and intentionally. It's easy to get caught up in the parties and events and excitement, and forget what exactly we are celebrating: what it is that we are "proud" of.

So let's take a minute to review a sampling of the many political and cultural achievements of the last half-century that have brought us to where we are today:

-1962: Illinois became the first state to decriminalize homosexual sex
-1969: The Stonewall Riots marked the beginning of a widespread gay rights movement
-1973: Homosexuality was removed from the American Psychiatric Association's list of mental illnesses
-1978: Harvey Milk was elected City Supervisor of San Francisco, the first openly gay person to serve in this position in the U.S.
-1982: Wisconsin became the first state to outlaw discrimination based on sexual orientation
-2004: Maryland became the first state to legalize same sex marriage
-2009: The ELCA Lutheran church joined many other religious denominations when it voted to allow the ordaining of openly gay and lesbian clergy members as well as accept gay and lesbian congregants
-2010: Dan Savage launched the "It Gets Better" campaign
-2010: The "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" military policy was repealed
-2012: President Obama became the first president to endorse same-sex marriage
-2012: Minnesota became the first state to vote against a same-sex marriage ban
-2013: Minnesota became the 12th state to legalize same-sex marriage
-2013: The Boy Scouts of America voted to allow openly gay scouts
-2013: The Defense of Marriage Act was struck down, with the Supreme Court ruling that legally married same-sex couples should have the same federal benefits as heterosexual couples
-2014: 19 states plus Washington DC have adopted full marriage equality


Pride is, at least partially, about commemorating these political achievements.  It is pretty incredible to see how far we have come in the past 50 years. These milestones are all indicators of LGBT acceptance in a political sense. And they are certainly worthy of pride.  But political acceptance is only one dimension. What about acceptance on an individual level?  What about acceptance on a community level?

In part, I believe that Pride is about self-acceptance: getting to a place where we can accept ourselves for who we are. Only after we have created that acceptance for ourselves can we expect others to understand, accept and value us. Having "pride" means being comfortable in our own skin.  It means doing away with the internalized belief that we need to change ourselves -- on the outside OR on the inside. It means being confident in our identity, however we might define that for ourselves.

Pride is also about acceptance of each another.  We are not all alike.  We don't all look the same. We don't all share a single label.  We identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, ally, fluid, pansexual, etc...etc...etc.  We don't all share the same value system or lifestyle.  We are all ages, genders races, and religions.  We range from ultra liberal to super conservative.  Pride is a chance to not only celebrate our unity, but also to celebrate the diversity that exists within our community.  This means we need to accept and value one another and not judge, vilify, or gossip about each other because of perceived (and often real) differences.  Our diversity is part of what makes us strong, if we use it for good.  A rainbow of just one color wouldn't be very beautiful, after all.

We have a lot to celebrate this year; a lot to be proud of. We have come so far from a cultural standpoint, and we are living in a time of exponential political achievement.  That is certainly part of what Pride is about.  Equally important, though, is our attitude toward ourselves and toward each other. So let's be proud of who we are as individuals. And let's affirm one another with the utmost respect, despite our differences. If we can do that, then we will truly have accomplished something worthy of Pride.

What are YOU proud of?