Friday, September 14, 2012

21 Things I'm Thankful For

I've been thinking a lot lately about thankfulness.  I feel SO thankful for so many things, and lately I've felt like it's been hard to contain my gratitude.  I put this list together of the Top 21 Things I'm Thankful For, initially thinking I'd write one every day and post it around Thanksgiving time... but once I started, I couldn't stop.  These are not in order of importance or really in any order at all.  But they all contribute to the incredibly vast beauty that I am so lucky to experience.

1. The World's Best Husband.  I can't even describe how lucky I am to have Ben.  He's the best partner anyone could ever ask for, in so many ways.  And really the all-around best PERSON that I know.

2. Living in Minneapolis, which I truly believe is one of the best places on earth.

3. Education.  This can take a variety of forms.  I'm thankful for both my formal higher education, as well as the drive to be a life-long learner and the small things I learn every day.

4. My Thursday Night Dinner (TND) friends.  Even though TND is a rare occurrence these days, I'm grateful for this amazing group of women who are enriching, life-long friends.

5. Running.  Running makes me feel good emotionally and physically. Also, I am very thankful for my running buddies!

6. My long-distance friends, who provide opportunities to travel and visit!  In the past year, I've visited 8 friends in 3 different locations.

7. The stable and secure jobs that both Ben and I are lucky enough to have.

8.  Jacob's Well.  Relevant, Honest, Thinking, and Casual. 

9. My "girly group". I look forward to Tuesday nights and meaningful discussions with amazing women.

10.  The many new friendships I've made this year....

11..... Especially the person who has taught me (among many other things) the definition of the term "best friend", and who complements and parallels me in so many ways.

12. Social media, which enables me to make and keep connections.

13. Chocolate.  Because let's be honest, life would suck without chocolate.

14. My little sister, who used to be just a baby and has grown up in every way imaginable.  She is a tiny package of brilliance and amazingness, and I've never been prouder of anyone. 

15. My health.  Once in awhile I'm reminded of how easy it is to take this for granted, and yet how important it is. 

16.  Lake Calhoun.  I love this lake.  This summer I've run around it, walked around it, biked around it, kayaked, canoed, and paddleboarded on it, and swam in it.

17. My book club.  The opportunity to read books that I normally would never pick up.

18.  Extroversion.  I have some personality traits that admittedly might not make it into the list of things I'm thankful for (my husband would probably agree!), but I am really happy to be an extrovert.  I love that I get my energy from being with people and that I love socializing with lots of groups of people. 

19.  Theater in Minneapolis.  The Twin Cities has the 2nd largest number of theater seats per capita (behind NYC), I'm happy to say that I have sat in dozens of them.

20.  My parents, who have been constants my entire life.  Not everyone is that lucky.

21.  A past that I look back on and smile about, a future in which I anticipate wonderful things, and a present that I continually live in and thrive in.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Shakin' off the Devil

While running today, the Florence and the Machine song Shake it Out came up on my iPod shuffle.  This is a great song. Every time I hear it, I am struck by this lyric: "It's hard to dance with the Devil on your back, so shake him off".

This line really resonates with me and makes me think of the "Devils" that I need to shake off in order to "dance".  And by dance, I mean be the most authentic, productive, and positive version of myself. 

One of my major Devils is self-consciousness, fear of judgement, and an over-focus on what people think of me.  It's appropriate that the line is "It's hard to DANCE with the Devil on your back", because the most concrete example of how this is exemplified in my life involves literal dancing. Last night, I was reminiscing with a close long-term friend about how she once gave me dance lessons in the apartment we shared, and about how I would never, ever dance in any capacity unless I'd had some "liquid courage".  I know I'm not a great dancer, and for a looong time, I would be the girl standing on the edge of the dance floor, watching the fun happen without me... because I was too self-conscious and thought people would judge me for my sub-par dance skills.  Result: I missed out on a lot of fun.  Fast-forward to 2012, and the party we were at last night.  Jill suggested that we start a dance party, and she, the birthday boy, and I jammed out in the living room for awhile (while everyone else just watched).  And I didn't care how ridiculous I looked. 

Another one of the Devils that I need to shake off is comparing myself to other people.  A prime example is "stomach models". I coined this term years ago, referring to the many people who run around the Chain of Lakes (especially Calhoun) clad in tiny shorts and sports bras, with no body fat, toned stomachs, perfect running form, and a super fast pace.  The kind of women that I simultaneously want to hate, and want to BE.  However, never once has watching those women (and the negative thoughts that go along with doing so) made my run better, made me faster, or made me happier.  All it does it make me feel inferior.  A more positive approach would be to focus on my own run, and the privilege of being healthy and able to run in such a beautiful city.

I think we all have some form of Devil that we need to shake off our backs.  Maybe it's a negative person who isn't doing any good in your life.  Maybe it's perfectionism.  Maybe it's fear of the unknown.  Maybe it's addiction (I'm not talking about drugs, but anything that's causing an imbalance).  Maybe your Devils are similar to mine: self-consciousness, need for approval, and comparison to others.

Recognizing these things in our lives is the first step toward self-improvement.  If we don't realize what's holding us back, we'll never be able to move forward. Let's define our Devils instead of letting them define us.  And once we know what they are, let's shake 'em off, so we can dance.