Things I've Learned Lately

I have experienced more growth in the past 4 months than I could ever have anticipated. Although change was forced upon me by someone else's decision, I have chosen not to be a passive recipient of the change, but to actively learn and challenge myself during the transition.  Here are the top 10 things I have learned.  I certainly don't have all of the answers (way more questions, in fact), but it's a work in progress.

In no particular order:

1. Don't take yourself too seriously.
I know that I don't always look poised or act "on point".  I also know that I'm not good at everything I do, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't do it.  It's okay if my hair isn't perfect or I still haven't "lost those 10 pounds" I've been working on since circa 1996.  It's okay to twerk on a box at a bar full of strangers, even though my hips don't move the right way, and it's okay to belt out songs at the top of my lungs, even though I can't carry a tune.  It's okay.

2.  Don't allow yourself to live in Groundhog's Day.
It's easy to fall into a routine that involves doing the same things, at the same times, with the same people, day in and day out.  Part of living a vibrant life is mixing it up.  I don't ever want to be someone who goes to the same restaurant every week and orders the same food, or someone who runs the same path four times per week, or someone who does the same thing every Sunday afternoon.  The world is a dynamic place, and living statically is hardly living at all.

3.  Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you.
I'm lucky to have a significant number of people in my life who challenge me in a positive way, and make me a better person.  They are the ones to whom I will continue to devote the most time, energy, and love.  I'm intentionally bringing more people into my circles, in an effort to have a variety of perspectives and personalities. 

4. You can sleep when you're dead.
I spent far too many years confined to my 11:00 pm bedtime.  Some of the best things happen after that time.  Plus, God invented caffeine for a reason.

5. Don't dwell on what you're "supposed to" be doing/thinking/feeling.
I don't have to live based on societal norms or even my own personal views of what I should or should not be.  I can transcend the concept of "should", and replace it with "could".   There are always options, and there is not just one correct path.

6. Know that you're whole.
This is my favorite line from the most influential song I have ever heard, Midnight Radio from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.  I can't depend on another person to feel complete; that comes from within. 

7. Be authentic.
I'm certainly FAR from perfect, but I'm never, ever fake.  I'm true to myself and I don't tiptoe around who I am.  Everyone who encounters me is going to encounter the real Kate, not some formulaic, fabricated version.

8. Don't limit yourself by setting expectations.
In the past four months, I've found that I am capable of so much more than I ever thought, or expected myself to be.  I can't even imagine what I might be capable of in four years, or 40 years, so I'm not going to try.  I'm just going to enjoy the process of becoming.

9. You are never alone.
No matter if I'm single or partnered, or anything in between, I am not alone and never will be.  A good friend wrote those words to me a week after my relationship status changed, and I will never forget it.

10.  Labels are for food and clothes; not people.
I won't allow anyone to slap a label on me, and I'm not going to slap one on myself.  I'm fluid, and multi-faceted, and to define myself by a word or phrase is a disservice.