Last night I went to a going-away party for a close friend who is moving to New York at the end of the month for an amazing job opportunity. She will be my 7th friend to relocate away from the Minneapolis area in 2011 (5 girl friends and two fantastic spouses). This particular woman, over the past few years, has become my go-to person for Friday night happy hour plans, my nutrition and fitness consultant, my relationship guru, my cheering squad (literally, during the marathon), my confidant.... my family. Her absence is going to leave more than a small gap in my life... it's going to permeate throughout everything.
I guess my friends' moves can be chalked up to the phase of life that we are in: 30ish, beginning to settle down into a permanent location, becoming established in careers, etc. One great part about having friends in other cities is that it provides excuses (aka opportunities!) to travel, and that is exciting. But, as fun as that is, there's nothing like having the closest people in life being within an arm's reach on a daily basis.
So, while 2011 has been an incredibly fun-filled, amazing, nearly perfect year, it's a little unsettling to think about what 2012 will bring, with so many of my favorite people absent from daily life. During this holiday season, which has been wonderfully joyful and rich so far, there's this slight but definite unsettled feeling of anticipated loneliness. But, stronger than that, there is a feeling of wholeness and blessing. In the past few years, I've developed a particular sense of appreciation for the most important women in my life. I'm truly grateful, both for those who have left, and for those who are sticking around (and this post should in no way be interpreted as minimizing the importance of those who are still here!). It's hard to say good-bye to yet another friend this year. But at the same time, it's a blessing to have friends who are significant enough to evoke a feeling of loss as they move away. The truth is, it is a privilege to say good-bye.
This reminds me of a little rhyme my mom taught me when I moved to Mendota Heights:
ReplyDeleteMake new friends
but keep the old
for one is silver
and the other gold
I think you have a great understanding and wisdom behind this. I know you are will miss the physical closeness of your friends -- you are a very sentimental woman and that makes you a very community-oriented person -- but you also recognize the transient nature of jobs and houses and life.
It is a blessing to have a worldwide network of friends and colleagues as you grow older because it means that anywhere you go, you will feel at home because there will be someone around to be comfortable with.