If you spend much time in conversation with me, peruse my Facebook page, hack into my e-mail to see what mailing lists I subscribe to, or take a look at the rear bumper of my car, you quickly will discover that I am an adamant supporter of LGBT equality. Now, there are many inequality concerns facing this community, but the one that is currently getting the most press is that of gay marriage. This is an issue on which I take a VERY strong stance.
While the majority of my generation, regardless of political or religious affiliation, does support gay marriage, I think that some people wonder why, as a woman married to a man, I consider this such a personally important issue. Why should it matter so much to me?
Unlike many young Americans, I do not believe that marriage is an outdated institution. I actually think that marriage is extremely positive for society. We do better as a culture when individuals are partnered in dyads. Children (on the whole) fare better when raised in two-parent households. The prominent conservative attorney Theodore Olson hit the nail on the head with his assertion that marriage “transforms two individuals into a union based on shared aspirations, and in doing so establishes a formal investment in the well-being of society.”
On a personal level, marriage has been incredibly life-enhancing for me. I have been lucky enough to find my perfect match, and on my wedding day, I was 110% ready to make that legally-binding commitment to him. Every day, Ben and I re-commit ourselves to one another by choosing to remain legally bound. Do we NEED that piece of paper, issued by the government, to legitimize our relationship? Absolutely not. Does it come with certain (many) inherent privileges that we enjoy as a result of our decision to tie the knot? Definitely. Does every consenting, committed, adult couple deserve the same status as us, if they choose it? YES.
I believe that marriage should be upheld in our culture as important and legitimate. To steal a phrase from marriage equality opponents, I believe in the “sanctity of marriage.” And that is exactly why I DO support marriage for same-sex couples. In addition to the approximately 1,050 unique legal benefits that come with marriage (social security benefits, family medical leave act protections, federal tax filing/exemptions, the right to hospital visits and decision-making in health emergencies, etc. ), there is also the intangible quality of being able to say “I am married to my partner.” Every person deserves these benefits, whether his or her partner happens to be of the same or opposite sex. To deny the right of marriage to gay and lesbian couples is BLATANT discrimination.
It breaks my heart that there are nearly one million couples in America who, simply because of their sexual orientation, are denied the status of marriage that Ben and I enjoy, and that is so pivotal to society. If you are married (or if you are heterosexual and plan to marry someday), you too are part that privileged majority. To not speak out against this inequality is to effectively promote it.
I will not endorse systematic discrimination. And that, friends, is why this issue matters to me.
“To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.” –Abraham Lincoln
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