Focus on the Stars

One of my favorite things to do in nature is stargazing.  Whenever I escape city life, one of the first things I do is look at the night sky, which is so bright and beautiful and unique.

True confession: I have been struggling a lot in my life recently, for a variety of reasons that are equal parts within, and outside of, my control. Many days feel so dark and clouded with negativity and tough moments, that finding the good seems harder than rocket science.  But one night recently, when I was struggling to find clarity and happiness, my partner made this analogy about my favorite nature-related activity: "When you look at the sky, you have two choices.  You can focus on the dark space, or you can focus on the stars... the way they sparkle, the designs they make, the way they light up the sky." 

That comment stopped my tears, dead in their tracks.

Most of the night sky is dark, and we shouldn't ignore the dark. It's healthy to identify and claim our dark spaces, to know that it's okay for them to be part of our sky. But we can't stop there. We also need to identify our stars, and know that they can be as bright as we let them be.  Our view is so much more beautiful, so much more transcendent, so much more illuminated, when we choose to focus on the bright spots - our stars.

My stars are my partner Pete, and the rest of my family, both bio and chosen.  My stars are dinner parties with friends on my deck at dusk. My stars are weekend North Shore getaways; That first sip of wine at the end of a long day; The time that Lucas referenced something the three of us did "as a family"; A strong run on a crisp early fall afternoon;  Songs that instantly make me feel warm; Solving a problem at work that I've been trying to figure out for weeks.  Put together, all of my stars work together to form amazing constellations and mini-universes.  So many tiny little dots of happiness that add up to a lifetime of sparkle and brightness.

My sky includes both dark space and bright stars.  Every day is filled with a combination of both.  On the days when I'm focusing my gaze on the dark space, I'm missing out on the stars.  But on the days when my attitude is shifted to keep my eyes focused on the stars, the dark space fades away.  On those days, my stars seem brighter, bigger, and better. 

No matter how cloudy the day, no matter how dark the sky, there are always stars.  Sometimes we have to look harder to find them, but when we do, they are always visible in some capacity.  The dark space is always there, too.  Every day brings potential reasons for self-doubt, for tears and anger, for divisiveness. We can focus on those things if we want, but by doing so, we are missing out on the beauty of the stars - the part of the sky that is really worth gazing at.

Focus on the stars.