30 Before 30 Adventures

For the past 30 days, I have been working on a “30 before 30” project: Try, experience, or do one new thing every day for the 30 days leading up to my 30^th birthday.  This is what I’ve been up to over the past month!

Friday July 6 – Took a yoga class.  Almost everyone I know besides me has taken yoga classes many times over, but this was actually my first one!  I felt like I looked pretty dumb and inflexible, and the time seemed to go much slower than it usually does with classes at the gym.  But, I certainly can see the benefits of practicing it long-term, so I may give it another try.

Saturday July 7 – Went canoeing on Lake Calhoun.  This was really fun.  It was the first sub-90 degree day in at least a week, and absolutely beautiful, so I headed off to Lake Calhoun with two friends to rent a canoe.  I’d been canoeing before, but never on the Minneapolis chain of lakes.  I love so many things about Minneapolis, but one thing that is REALLY unique is that you can be right in the middle of the city, yet feel completely surrounded by wilderness.

One of my thank-you notes

Sunday July 8 – Put thank you notes on strangers’ cars.  I’ve been seeing more and more “Vote No” bumper stickers on cars around town, so I took some time to write notes thanking the owners of these sticker-clad cars for their commitment to vote against marriage discrimination.  I drove around uptown putting notes on the windshields of half a dozen cars.  The REALLY cool part about this is that a friend messaged me the next day to tell me that one of HER friends had posted a pic of my note on Facebook, having been one of the anonymous recipients! His post indicated that he was happy to have received it and will pass it on.  

Monday July 9 – Rode a Nice Ride bike.  So, the truth is, I hadn’t been on any kind of bike (except a stationary one) for about 20 years.  So riding a bike at all was pretty much a “new thing”.  Renting Nice Rides was more or less just because neither Ben nor I own a functional bike.  We went out around Calhoun on a beautiful night.  I was a little shaky at first, but after a while I really liked it!

Holding the cherry!

Tuesday July 10 – Went to the Walker Sculputer Garden and took a picture “holding the cherry” of the cherry spoon statue.  Okay, full disclosure: my original plan was to take a picture CLIMBING on the cherry spoon. But a few things were working against that plan:  1. My own guilt about the idea of climbing on art. 2. The closed-circuit security system. 3. The pond beneath the spoon.  So, this was more of a second choice activity.  But the picture turned out pretty cool and it was fun to spend time with a friend in the sculpture garden.

Losing Powerball tix

Wednesday July 11 – Bought two Powerball tickets.  At 9:59, I watched the Powerball drawing with a friend.   Unfortunately, beginners luck did not strike this time, and I ended up $4 poorer instead of 80,000,000 richer!

Chocolate facials!

Thursday July 12 – Made a chocolate facial mask.  A friend and I researched recipes for facial masks, and came up with a tasty one! Made of cocoa powder, honey, cream, and oatmeal, it was supposed to provide antioxidants while moisturizing and smoothing. We blended everything up and used a spatula to frost each other’s faces… then licked (er, I mean washed!) it off, revealing fresh, smooth skin!  

Friday July 13 – Visited a new city.  Ben and I flew in to Ann Arbor Michigan to celebrate the wedding of a close friend of mine.  This is a great little town and I have been wanting to visit for several years now- so glad that I finally did!

Cigars and whiskey with Alicia

Saturday July 14 – Smoked a cigar and drank whiskey.  This was Ben and my 5 year wedding anniversary, and the day before the wedding of one of my BFFs.  So, the 4 of us celebrated with cigars (first time EVER smoking one) and whiskey (first time drinking an entire whiskey drink… I liked it a lot more than I thought).  It was super fun to spend time celebrating with one of our favorite couples.

Sunday July 15 – Acted as a witness for a marriage.  I had the honor of signing the marriage license as a witness at the wedding of one of my closest friends.  It really was a privilege to play this unique role in the life of a very special couple.

Monday July 16 – Ran a mile barefoot, in 100 degrees.  Today’s adventure was SUPPOSED to be paddleboarding, but the watercrafts weren’t being rented because of wind.  So, my friends and I went to the beach, and I took the opportunity to try barefoot running along Calhoun – something I’ve wanted to try for a while.  I went about a mile, which was more than enough in 100+ degrees!  I’d definitely be open to doing it again.

The ingredients for root beer

Tuesday July 17 – Made homemade root beer.  This adventure involved trips to two specialty new-agey shops to get a variety of herbs, roots, and other junk I’d never heard of before, followed by chopping stuff up, letting it simmer, draining, and adding soda water.  It was a fun process, but the actual product wasn’t any better than what you’d buy in a can.  I also sampled some homemade licorice soda as well as ginger soda – both of those were delicious!

Wednesday July 18 – Went to the Aquatennial Torchlight Parade.  This parade is supposed to be one of the best in the state.  Personally, I thought it was a bit overrated.  Highly dominated by princesses and marching bands. But it was a beautiful night and I was with great friends, so it was well worth it!

On the Foshay Observation deck

Thursday July 19 – Went to the Foshay Tower observation deck.  Today was Ben’s birthday, and part of how we celebrated was by heading to the 30^th floor of the Foshay.  They have a museum about the history of Foshay and his building, and then you can go outside and walk the perimeter of the Tower, which provides the most incredible view of the twin cities I’ve ever seen.  I’d highly recommend this to anyone who lives in or visits Minneapolis.

Friday July 20 – CLASSIFIED!  (Aren’t all the funnest things??)

Saturday July 21 – Went paddleboarding on the Minneapolis chain of lakes.  Paddleboards are like a cross between surfboarding and kayaking.   I was afraid that I would fall off, but it actually was really easy and fun.  All four of us got the hang of it right away, and it was a great way to spend a summer afternoon!

Sunday July 22 – Celebrated a 90^th birthday.  Today was my grandpa’s 90^th birthday, so I went out for dinner with him and many of my extended family members to celebrate.  I’ve never known someone who is 90 years old before.  My grandpa has lived an incredible life and is still active and full of energy and talent.  I’m proud to be part of his family!

Monday July 23 – Gave food to a homeless person.  I’ve seen countless people on the street who clearly are in need.  Never before have I stopped to try to fill that need.  I’d purchased a subway gift card, and today, instead of turning a blind eye, I said hello and gave him the card.  I hope that tonight he has a full belly.

Making gnocchi!

Tuesday  July 24 – Made homemade gnocchi.  One of the things I am infamous for is my inability to cook.  “Making dinner”, to me, means putting some frozen stir fry in a pan and heating it up.  Conversely, my favorite friend is incredibly talented at many creative things, including cooking delicious homemade meals.  So, tonight we made our own gnocchi.  It took a full two hours from start to finish, but it was delicious!!   

Wednesday July 25 – Got a psychic reading.   This was a bit of a bust. My psychic didn’t really hone in on my primary personality traits or the characteristics of my relationships, and stated a few things which were blatantly inaccurate… making it difficult to trust the other parts of the reading.  I’m still glad I gave it a try, but probably won’t be going back to her any time soon!

Jumping!

Thursday July 26 - Went to a trampoline park.  A group of us went to Sky Zone in Plymouth to bounce on their 3-dimensional trampolines.  We were the oldest people there, besides those who were there with their children, but we didn’t care.  It was a ton of fun.

Shooting a gun! In a dress!

Friday July 27 – Shot a gun.  I went with three girl friends and my husband to Bill’s Gun Range in Robbinsdale.  I was incredibly nervous, but after I got the  hang of it, it was actually pretty fun.  One of those things that I am glad to have done, but probably will never do again!

Saturday July 28 – Mowed a lawn.  So, I’m a little bit of a princess, and I’d never mowed a lawn in my life until today.  I figured it was about time.  I didn’t like it one little bit, and I didn’t do a very good job.  But it DID make me develop a new appreciation for the way Ben keeps our lawn looking like a bed of green carpet!

Sunday July 29 – Went tubing down the Cannon River.  My initial goal was to tube down the Apple River (which is where Ben picked up a life-threatening communicable disease on his bachelor party 5 years ago… so who WOULDN’T want to do that again?!), but opted for the less-disgusting Cannon River.  Ten hours and many shenanigans later, I got home and immediately crashed.

Monday July 30 – CENSORED!! 

Tuesday July 31 – Fasted.  I was on a water and juice diet from 6 pm yesterday until about 5:15 today (at which time someone offered me a cookie, and who am I to turn down a cookie?!).  I didn’t really get hungry until around lunch time, but it also wasn’t a particularly meaningful experience, as it wasn’t part of a spiritual practice or anything.

Wednesday August 1 – Had my eyebrows waxed.  I’ve never really needed to do it because my hair is so light, but I figured it was worth trying.  Results one hour later: a little red!  

Thursday August 2  - Went through a coffee shop drive-thru and paid for the person behind me.  The cashier was a little confused, but I’m pretty sure it worked out.  Hopefully the recipient of free coffee had a good start to his or her day!

Friday August 3 – Ate sushi. I really don't like sea food of any kind, so I put this one off until the end. But I felt like I really should try it because I never had and so many people rave about how delicious it is. The only one I could force myself to put in my mouth was a veggie role, which I'm not sure even technically counts. 

Celebrating 30!

Saturday August 4 - TURNED 30!!!  The inevitable day finally arrived, and I celebrated my birthday with a big party at The Local.  Over 50 friends and family members showed up and it was amazing and overwhelming to have so many of my favorite people all in one place.  I am incredibly blessed with relationships and experiences, and have no regrets at all about where I've come from or where I'm going.  I know that this is going to be the best decade yet! SO THANKFUL!

Ben's Anniversary Poem

A few weeks ago, Ben and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary.  He surprised me by writing and reciting a poem about the first years of our life together, which ended in a re-proposal of marriage.  A few people have asked to hear/read the poem, so here it is.

Five years ago with pomp and circumstance
We held one another for our wedding dance.
To Jamaica we left at the first chance
Although luggage lagged behind, perchance.

Upon returning, we learned with a start
Blastomycosis was now on my medical chart.
You nursed me back to health, showing your heart
As we held our vow to never "Christmas" apart.

The following years we took vacations
to Los Angeles, and tropical destinations.
Attended countless nuptual dedications,
And watched me walk in one of Goldy's graduations.

We've experienced our basement as a floodplain.
Foot races in St.Paul, Downtown, and St. Anthony Main.
Five years later, one one question remains:
Katherine Jane, will you marry me... again?


I love you so much, Ben!!

Why Will You Vote NO?

Yesterday, I had an opportunity to co-host an awareness/fundraiser for MN United for All Families, the organization working to defeat the anti-marriage amendment in November.  Everyone at the party expressed beautiful, unique, and legitimate reasons for voting no.  I'd like to share them with you.

Because the constitution gives and protects rights – it doesn’t take them away.

To follow my conscience.

Because love is never wrong. (x2)

Because I want to marry Natasha and everyone should have the ability to marry the person they love.  

To send a message that no one is a second class citizen.

DUH.

Because of, not in spite of, my faith.

So I can be part of Kevin’s wedding one day.

Because I won’t get married until everyone can!

Because I believe in LOVE!

Because everyone deserves a family.

Everyone deserves the right to happiness.

So I can go to Mark’s wedding some day.

Why discriminate? Why judge? We can’t help who we love.

God loves us for who we are.

Because oppression sucks!

It is my civic duty to make all citizens equal. 

Because human rights should not be restricted.

I deserve to love, too.

Because voting yes would be mean.

Because I want to marry Shannon without driving to Iowa!

Because denying rights to an entire group of people is discrimination.

I’d like to get married someday.

Everyone should feel invited to build a strong family.

To be on the RIGHT side of history – and brag about it to my grand kids in 50 years!

Because this amendment makes a mockery of the constitution.

We all deserve the chance to marry.

More freedom = good.  Less freedom = bad.

Because I want to marry Brad Pitt! (and because it’s right).

Because love transcends gender… and God created us to love.

Because marriage is truly a wonderful thing, and everyone deserves the right to seek it.

Minnesota has budget problems, and we’re talking about a gay rights ban??

Because I want to live a life of miserable married bliss.  :) 

Because I recognize right from wrong.

Because civil rights should not be voted on.

What are YOUR reasons for voting no in November?

A Shortcut to the Finish Line?

I ran the Minneapolis Half Marathon last weekend.  The route was "out and back", meaning that when we got to a certain point, we turned around and ran back in the other direction.  There were a number of spots along the first half of the course where it would have been easy to just turn around and blend in with the runners who were already heading in the other direction, thereby cutting out part of the mileage.  Yes, that would be cheating, but it would have gotten me to the finish line faster, and almost no one would have noticed.

The problem is, doing that would have meant missing out on part of the course.  Maybe the best part. 

In our culture, we have this mentality of focusing on the finish line.  And it's understandable.  For runners, seeing that huge cheering crowd at the very end of the race, and then crossing the finish line and being given a medal (and more importantly, some Gatorade and a banana!), are fantastic rewards for the effort that we've put in until that point.  But there's more to running a race than crossing the finish.  There are rewards along the way.  Really valuable rewards. 

The same is true for all of life.  We spend so much of our time thinking about achieving a certain goal, or passing a certain landmark.  A small-scale example of this happened to me yesterday.  It was Wednesday, and all I could focus on was the anticipation of the weekend ahead.  I just wanted to get to Friday, and get on with my weekend plans.  But that mentality is problematic, because wishing away time means wishing away all the small beautiful things that happen during the interim.  An unanticipated summer rainstorm.  A lively discussion at book club.  A picnic in the park with some of my favorite ladies.  Listening to Ben tell me about his day.  Those are joys that I wouldn't want to miss for anything - even a shortcut to the weekend. 

This is an easy trap to fall into on a larger scale too. I remember my final year of high school, pining to get out of my parents' house and move into my college dorm, believing that with this transition would come a greater sense of independence.  I remember my last semester of college, just wishing for graduation so that I could move to Minneapolis and get started with "real life" (i.e. grad school, which in retrospect is a far cry from ACTUAL real life!).  I remember being single in my early 20s, so impatient about meeting the man of my dreams, essentially believing that nothing profound could happen until my goal of marriage was achieved.  In all of these cases, the over-focusing on an event in the future left me unable to really enjoy all of the great things that were happening in the present.

It's exciting to focus on the finish line - the end goal.  But in doing so excessively, we miss a lot of beauty along the way.  I am guessing that a lot of other people can relate to the lure of the finish.  I'd like to throw out this challenge to you: take a step back from whatever future point you are focused on today.  Be thankful for the present.  Run the entire race.  Enjoy the small beauty that is present in every step. The finish line will be there whenever you get to it.

Letters to Myself

Dear 13-year-old Katie,

You'll make friends soon. You might want to start with the red-head in your English class.  She'll be standing up at your wedding one day.


Dear 15-year-old Katie,

There is no 4th floor pool at your high school.

You're going to betray your friend's trust, and she's going to respond with so much more love and forgiveness than you deserve.  You'll have opportunities later to pay it back, and pay it forward.  Take those opportunities, always.

Stop worrying about your grades so much.  Stop worrying in general so much.


Dear 16-year-old Katie,

Quit listening to Alanis Morissette on repeat. That's just embarrassing.

When he tells you that he's a carrier of mono, he's not joking. Don't kiss him!

Stop worrying about your grades so much. 

You know that poster board on your bedroom wall that says "Write on my Wall", and is filled with colorful comments and notes from friends?  You'll still have that in 15 years, except it will be called Facebook.


Dear 17-year-old Katie,

Sporting a WWJD bracelet, a sticker-covered Bible, and a holier-than-thou attitude is SO NOT what Jesus would do. 

Taking AP classes and having a high ACT score does not make you smarter or better than anyone else.  Also, stop worrying about your grades so much.


Dear 19-year-old Kate,

College is not the time to stay home every night. The bar is within walking distance.  Put on a cute top and some heels, and GO OUT!!!

Stop worrying about your grades so much.

Appreciate your grandma.


Dear 22-year-old Kate,

It's okay to feel broken.  But if you are honest with yourself, you will admit that he wasn't right for you.  Someone else will be.  It's hard to believe this now, but it really is for the best.  Try to be grateful.


Dear 23-year-old Kate,

Being single at your age does NOT make you a spinster.  Enjoy this phase of life, and don't even think about settling.

You might want to worry about your grades a little more... just kidding!

The brand of Christianity you're trying out now isn't right for you.  Keep looking, because there are like-minded people out there who also have a thirst for a spiritual community.  Hint: THIRST!


Dear 24-year-old Kate,

You can trust him when he says he won't leave you.  And he'll mow the lawn, and tell you stories, and get a PhD, and scratch your back, and tie the bows in the backs of your dresses, and do the taxes AND the dishes, and take you to the airport at 4:00 am, and cheer for you you at seven spots when you run a marathon.  It's a little bit dumb to agree to marry someone you have only known for 3 months, but this is the best dumb decision you could ever make.


Dear 28-year-old Kate,

Don't let anyone make you think you could be going to hell because of your beliefs. You know better than that. Also, this isn't something that comes naturally for you, but it's prudent to keep your mouth shut sometimes.


Dear 30-year-old Kate,

It's been getting better and better and better.  There's no reason for that to change just because you're 30.  There are surely wonderful things ahead.

Reflections in the Mirror

I think most women (and a lot of men, too) can relate to having had periods of life in which we care a lot more than we reasonably should about our appearance. I personally have spent more time than I’d like to admit looking in the mirror, scrutinizing every physical aspect of myself. “Are my cheeks too chubby?” “Have I gained weight?” “Why am I so short?” “Does my hair look okay?” And then, even worse - when I leave the house, I turn that mirror outward by way of comparison to other women. “She’s so much prettier than me.” “I wish I had her smile.” “She pulls off that outfit way better than I ever could.” “She’s so skinny – it’s just not fair!” I spend altogether too much time focused on how I look, and comparing myself to others.

I can honestly say that my physical self-scrutiny has not made me an (even slightly!) improved person, and it CERTAINLY has not made the world one iota better. But lately I have been wondering – what if I applied that same perfectionism to my internal qualities? Instead of spending hours dwelling on how I look, counting every calorie (consumed and burned), practicing my smile… what if I instead used that energy to ask questions like, “What have I done today to show kindness to those around me?” “Have I been a good steward of my environment?” “Am I aware of current events and issues around the world?” “How can I use my skills and resources to better my community?” “Am I bringing joy to the people I encounter today?”

I don’t know if I can blame my obsession with physical appearance on culture, mass media, or if it’s just my own personal vanity, but up until recently I have placed so much more emphasis on the first set of questions than the second. And it has gotten me nowhere. Short of plastic surgery, there is nothing I can do about my chubby cheeks. Other than a short pre-wedding stint, I been gaining and losing the same 10 pounds for probably the past 15 years. Nothing will EVER change about my height. My hair is gonna look just fine whether I run that flat iron through it for 5 more minutes or not. But that second set of questions – the answers to those are malleable. The answers to those are what people will remember about me (unlike my never-quite-straight hair or the 4 pounds I’ve gained!). The answers to those have the power to change the world, even if it’s just a little bit. A lot of little bits add up.

In light of all of this, I’m going to make a concerted effort to follow these guidelines:

1. Making physical comparisons to other women is not only futile, but it is almost masochistic. There is ALWAYS going to be someone prettier, someone thinner, someone with better hair or better clothes or a better smile. Comparing my appearance to that of other women will never do anything but make me feel inferior. Plus, it’s shallow.

2. I don’t have to be the prettiest girl in the room if I can be fun, interesting, energetic, and social. This is a mentality I have been embracing for a few months now. I actually had a discussion about this with a new friend at a party last night. There were a lot of really beautiful girls there, but he told me that when he tried to engage them in conversation, they weren’t particularly vibrant or friendly. Phyiscal beauty might initially catch someone’s eye, but a fun personality is what creates lasting attraction.

3. We all have limited time, energy, and capacity. I want to use mine for good. “Good” can take on a variety of forms for different people, but for me it means making people smile and laugh, being sincerely interested in the lives of others, participating in social activism, and having a general awareness of the world around me.

4. The aforementioned 3 guidelines are not an excuse for poor health. It’s difficult to be the best person I can be if I’m not physically healthy. A de-emphasis on weight, for example, doesn’t mean that I don’t need to exercise or that I can stuff my face with sugar. But my reasons for making these choices should shift from a focus on how they will make me look, to how they will make me feel… and in turn, how I can be a positive force in the world.

Next time we look in the mirror, I hope we can all see beyond the perceived imperfections, and focus on that which is really important. We'll be happier people, and the world will be a better place.

Post-Vacation Gratitude

At the risk of sounding like a spoiled, whiny yuppy, I'm just going to come out and say it: coming back to reality after an incredible trip abroad sucks. I spent 11 glorious days traveling in Colombia with two of my best friends in the world, and most of that time was spent with our wonderful hostesses - two other close friends who live in Cartagena, right on the coast.

We had the most perfect blend of adventures, scandals, funny moments, pampering, and lazy beach/poolside time. We met strangers from all over the globe who quickly became friends. We got massages and manis and pedis and various other "spa services". We traveled by boat from one beach to another. We laughed at each other's pathetic Spanish skills (okay, so mostly it was them laughing, justifiably, at me. Apparently "escuchame" means "listen to me", not "excuse me". oops). We stayed out late and "salsa danced" (note the quotations). The weather was perfect. The company was perfect. It was the kind of experience that you return from wanting to share with everyone.

I thought that by the time it was over, I'd be ready to get back to real life. That I'd be ready to sleep in my own bed, spend time with my other friends and family, have hot showers, go back to work, and generally be a productive member of society.

I thought wrong.

The last few days have been a really difficult adjustment. They've been lonely - polar opposite from the previous 11, spent in the company of friends 24/7. When something you've been anticipating for so long comes and goes, there's this feeling of "what next?" What is there to look forward to now?

Although it's normal to feel like this at the end of something big (we've all heard about the post-wedding depression that many brides experience after their wedding day is over, for example), I'm really trying to put the whole thing into perspective. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for, and excited about. Maybe it's not something as big as a South American adventure, but it's important to find joy in the small things as well: celebrating with a newly-engaged friend, having a date night with my husband, that first long outdoor spring run, spending time with my my sister when she's home for spring break.

It's also important to be grateful for the relationships that make the "big things" possible. I'm nothing short of blessed by having close friends with whom to go on travel adventures, and friends who are LIVING the adventures and are willing to host vacationers. I'm blessed by having a husband who is not only supportive of "girls only" trips, but almost insistent upon me taking them. These are the permanent intangibles that make life wonderful... not just the brief physical experiences themselves.

So today I'm choosing to stop with the "my vacation is over" pity party, and just be grateful. Grateful for the experience and the memories, grateful for the people in my life. And grateful for the every-day things that are worth smiling about.